Fish or Snake?

"What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?" Luke 11:11-12

I was recently thinking back on my husband's decade in the military (our family's decade as a military family). Ten years, two deployments, five kids, five moves, more short term separations than I can count... Looking back, I see things so differently now than I did then, in large part because I now have a different perspective on so many of the things that happened.

This morning I read the above verse and it reminded me of a scene in one of our favorite family movies, Father Goose. In the movie, Leslie Caron's character, Catherine, believes herself to be bitten by a snake which turns out to be only a stick with thorns. When one of the young girls goes to kill the "snake" and discovers the truth, she brings it back to Walter (played by Cary Grant) who believes Catherine to have died from the poisonous snake bite. The following conversation ensues:

Anne, holding out stick: It wasn't a snake. It was this.
Walter: Well, that's not a snake.
Anne: It looks like a snake.
Walter: Well, that's not a snake.
Anne, hands Walter the stick: Here, watch out for the thorns.
Walter, takes stick: Thank you. [pause] It's not a snake.
Anne: It looks like a snake.
Walter, considering: No... it doesn't... This looks like a snake!

I think sometimes I'm a lot like Anne, trying to defend the way I see things wrongly with "But it looks like a snake." I think back to my first pregnancy. I was so angry at God for disrupting my plans for grad school and a career that it took me several months to see my transition into motherhood as a fish to nourish me instead of a snake to harm me. Similarly, the two deployments we have gone through (which is so few compared to many others) looked like scorpions attacking our marriage instead of precious eggs that fed us on the yolk of community and dependence on Christ. The many separations appeared to be stones to beat us down instead of bread to strengthen us (Matt 7). I can look back now and know that what God gave me was not a snake to bite me but a fish to feed me...but what I want is to recognize--in the moment--that I have a God worth trusting even when sticks look like snakes.

One of the ways that we are able to do this more effectively is to consistently put truth into our minds. I have to remind myself over and over again that no matter what things may look like on the surface, God is good and does good. If that is my truth then I can act out of that truth, no matter the circumstances. One of the quotes I have been meditating on this year is from Julian of Norwich who said, "All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well." Although--in the spirit of honesty--I memorized it wrong and have it in my head as "All is well, all shall be well." The mindset is the same: all is well because we know that Jesus has already won the battle against sin. All shall be well because we know we have hope for the future. But we have to remind ourselves of these truths because on the surface, things don't always look so good.

So we say to ourselves, over and over again: all is well, all shall be well. God is good and does good. It looks like a snake...but it's not one. And we ask God to give us more of his Spirit so that when we look at the world we can see it the way he does, so that we can see the gifts he gives for the gifts they really are. And we know that He wants to give us his Spirit because he tells us so. And he's worth trusting.

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:13