Monday, February 17, 2014

The Anti-To-Do

I'm trying something new this week.

Here's the deal: I spend a lot of time nursing. I mean, a lot of time. And then a lot of time changing diapers and holding fussy babies and wiping up spit up. Since the Man got home, he's been trying to keep things running, but he's been jet lagged and then got a stomach bug, and really, between the two boys, the twins, the pets, and me, there's more than enough to keep him busy with a good deal left over. Consequently, things have been slipping through the cracks: case in point, our friendly family dust bunnies are breeding millions of baby dust bunnies as we speak. This is frustrating for me. I have perfectionist tendencies that refuse to be easily squashed, and it's easy for me to get to the end of the day and look at everything that hasn't been accomplished and want to howl at the moon a good long while.

So: I'm trying something new this week. Have I said this already? I'm a smidge sleep deprived.

This week, instead of looking at my un-checked To Do list at the end of the day, I'm taking stock of my To Done list. Yes, that grammar is fantastic.

For instance, Wednesday, I threw dinner in the crock pot, got coffee and really bad Chinese food with the Man, helped out a friend, read and snuggled with the big boys (while de-cradle-crapping Tiny's head), and, as per usual, nursed the rest of my day into oblivion. And while at the end of Wednesday, I was initially feeling guilty for not finishing the laundry, not exercising, and not dusting and vacuuming, when I looked at what I'd actually done, I didn't feel quite so bad about it any more. Because sure, it might not look like much to pre-twin me, but to post-twin me, I'm living large. (Incidentally, most of the dusting and all of the vacuuming were taken care of Saturday morning by the Man while I did--guess what?--some more nursing.)

Anyway, here's to the To Done list. May it ever return me to more realistic expectations.

Pictures of the twins included
solely so you can see what's keeping me occupied
these days.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Home Is Home Again

There is a lot of this these days.
I'm getting good at sharing.

There are two towels in the bathroom again. Two toothbrushes by the sink. Four places set at the table. A pair of boots beside the recliner. A jeep in the driveway. Workout gear in the laundry basket.

Home is home again.

I realize, all over again, how the missing is about the little moments as much as the big. Though he has missed births and birthdays, anniversaries and minor surgeries, Christmases and Thanksgivings, and yes, those are hard and his absence is felt, the long, slow ache of missing lies primarily in the day to day. It is wonderful to laugh with him over Tiny referring to vanilla yogurt as "ice cream yogurt", to share the grossness of the frozen rabbit he found in our back yard, to cuddle up beside him after yet another middle of the night nursing. It is wonderful to have him home for the little moments, just as I will be glad to share the big occasions with him again.

Our family is settling back into each other again, and watching the transformation on all of us is quickly becoming one of my favourite things.

The Little Man's first hug