Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Little Bits

  • If I hold my laptop in my lap and lean forward, my belly will do the typing for me.
  • A really funny story about being chased down by an escapee tent with a malicious side can easily turn into a seven hour visit the to emergency room...and the emergency room visit can just as easily turn out to be caused, not by the really awesome tent story, but by a puncture wound caused by a bacteria ridden cat.
  • I look cool when I walk with a cane.
  • People think it's funny to tell a hobbling pregnant woman not to run in the hallways.
  • Rainy autumn days and yellow school buses go together. They just do.
  • A combination of garlic and antibiotics seeping out of my pores makes for a very smelly bedroom...and leads me to open my windows, light some candles, and take long showers.
  • Now that I'm seven months pregnant, the Man's shirts fit me exceptionally well. Except that my arms aren't as buff as his. Thank goodness. That would be weird.
  • I'm almost an aunt. Nephew mine! Hurry up and get here! You would be such an inspiration to Baby Friz if you would just come on! And your mommy would really appreciate it too.
The End.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Death of the Betty Crocker Inside

Guy in line behind me at the grocery store: So... you're making cookies, huh?
Me: I promise they're not all for me. *smiles charmingly* I'm being an overachieving wife and baking cookies for all my husband's troops. *mentally pats self on back*

Today I decided to go above and beyond. In an effort to get the "Best and Coolest Wife Ever" award, I attempted to make 100 some cookies for the Man's guys who probably don't get very much to eat and who definitely don't have wives as awesome as me. I also had to make brownies for the fall festival tomorrow, so I thought I'd just get my bake on and be all domestic (I even ironed some napkins--be impressed). And, in order to make it even more interesting, I thought I'd do a photo-journalistic overview of what happened, thinking that it would be a great opportunity to show off my culinary skills.

The baking escapades started off well-organized and seemingly idyllic:

And the brownies came out beautifully:

But the first batch of cookies, um, disintegrated:

And the second batch wasn't much better:

This is the third batch on the way in. It turned out pretty much the same as the others, ie. ugly:

Further cookie death occurred when transferring the cookies from the wax paper, where they had cooled, to the ziplock bags for storage.

So, at the end of the day, I'm left with two beautiful pans of brownies and a bunch of ziplocked cookie shards. Needless to say, I doubt I'm going to send these cookies to the Man (although maybe the demolition would be blamed on the postal service instead of me) since I don't want to be "the lieutenant's wife who, bless her soul, can't cook". Here's my disappointed face:

Monday, October 19, 2009

Lessons Learned

But for a moment the whole world comes to. Wakes up. Proves it lives. It lives— red, yellow, orange, brown, russet, ocher, vermilion, gold. Fla-me and rust.
 Excerpt from "Leaves" by Lloyd Schwartz

Although my blog is typically not one to generate the amount of comments necessary to bring me fullness of joy, I did learn that posting a ridiculously long blog that is primarily about art and in-law relations will bring about even fewer comments than usual. In fact, the only person who actually commented was staying at my home for the weekend and was severely bullied into leaving me that cherished little message. Threats of no ice cream may or may not have been made.

On that note, let me keep it brief and just say this: I sat on the porch this evening with a blanket and a mugful of steaming cider, watching the sun set. I stayed out until the first star put in an appearance and I could no longer take just how much I was missing the Man. Now I'm inside, sensibly working on lesson plans, which I should've just done in the first place.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Internal Alarm Setting Off Jackson Pollock

So, I've been planning on blogging about this for a couple days now, and since my aforementioned internal alarm clock went off at 630am on a Saturday morning, now is as good a time as any, right?

Here's the back story. I was talking with my eleven year old brother-in-law, who told me that he'd been drawing "nothing, just a bunch of scribbles" that day, which caused me to automatically reference Jackson Pollock (it just seemed natural). Brother-in-love told me that he had absolutely no interest in Jackson Pollock, whoever that was, which incited loud gasps from me. He then told me he was more of a John Wayne or Gary Cooper fan, which brought about even more loud gasping as he evidently had no clue that Jackson Pollock was an artist, not an actor. I had to 'fess up that I had no clue who Gary Cooper was, and we proposed a trade of information (although I had to IMDB Gary Cooper myself). Consequently, the following emails.

Subject: Jackson Pollock for W
Date: 14 October 2009 20:23:44 EDT

Okay! Jackson Pollock for you! The important thing you need to know about him is that he did abstract paintings that really just looked like splatters and could've been done by a two year old but (miraculously) sold for Big Bucks.

This is a picture of him painting in his studio. Don't ever pick up smoking--it's a nasty habit.

This is one of his paintings (in colour):

Here's another one of his paintings:

And last one:

Now do you understand why I referenced Jackson Pollock when you said you were drawing a picture of "nothing, just a bunch of scribbles"? Make sense?

This article gives you a short run down of why he's so famous if you want a little more info. If not, skip to the bottom:

On the floor I am more at ease, I feel nearer, more a part of the painting, since this way I can walk around in it, work from the four sides and be literally `in' the painting.
-- Jackson Pollock, 1947.
Pollock, Jackson (1912-56). American painter, the commanding figure of the Abstract Expressionist movement.
He began to study painting in 1929 at the Art Students' League, New York, under the Regionalist painter Thomas Hart Benton. During the 1930s he worked in the manner of the Regionalists, being influenced also by the Mexican muralist painters (Orozco, Rivera, Siqueiros) and by certain aspects of Surrealism. From 1938 to 1942 he worked for the Federal Art Project. By the mid 1940s he was painting in a completely abstract manner, and the `drip and splash' style for which he is best known emerged with some abruptness in 1947. Instead of using the traditional easel he affixed his canvas to the floor or the wall and poured and dripped his paint from a can; instead of using brushes he manipulated it with `sticks, trowels or knives' (to use his own words), sometimes obtaining a heavy impasto by an admixture of `sand, broken glass or other foreign matter'. This manner of Action painting had in common with Surrealist theories of automatism that it was supposed by artists and critics alike to result in a direct expression or revelation of the unconscious moods of the artist.
Pollock's name is also associated with the introduction of the All-over style of painting which avoids any points of emphasis or identifiable parts within the whole canvas and therefore abandons the traditional idea of composition in terms of relations among parts. The design of his painting had no relation to the shape or size of the canvas -- indeed in the finished work the canvas was sometimes docked or trimmed to suit the image. All these characteristics were important for the new American painting which matured in the late 1940s and early 1950s.
Last bit from M. :) Hope you enjoyed learning something new. I will try to get ahold of a copy of Sergeant York before the next time I see you--but if I don't, we'll watch it together, okay? So far, the only thing I've seen that he was in was Ben Hur, and he was just an extra in that movie. Love you!
PS Hope your brother was able to be patient. msf
His response was:

Subject: Re: Jackson Pollock for W: BORING!!!
Date: 14 October 2009 20:36:42 EDT

They're just BLOBS!!! You said this guy was FAMOUS!!! Anyone could do his BLOBS!!!


PS: How was Gary Cooper 'cause I didn't read the email I just looked at the pictures briefly. No need to be patient. LOL! HAhahahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahah. sorry, Where was I.....BORING!!!

My end conclusion? He'll appreciate me when he's in college and some girl that he likes starts talking about Jackson Pollock in an attempt to sound cool and sophisticated. Then he'll be glad he had such an awesome sister-in-law.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Rainy Day Thursday Cheer

"So softly/Rain against the windows/And the strong coffee/Warming up my fingers/In this fisherman's house..."
-A Fine Frenzy, "You Picked Me"

Woke up to the sweet kiss of rain on concrete, and I knew it was going to be a good day. This in spite of the fact that I woke up with a man voice and Oswald was vomitish (which, in turn, made me vomit). And I have been in a rather cheerful state listening to rain music (real and imagined) and thinking about the The Prayer of St Francis and the Love Chapter. Rain always brings out the best in me, and I've been trying to pray through both of the aforementioned passages. I want that kind of life and that kind of love.

So hurray for the rain and cable knit sweaters and good music and butt warmers in the car (because 46 degrees is way below my natural temperature) and the mist over the changing trees and the happy dance that was Baby Friz this morning and long emails from my husband and learning from lovers of God who have long since gone to be with Him. I think that's sufficient cause for joy.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Yesterday was so many things: boots and books and tights and a dress and baked potato with broccoli and chili and the end of JAG season 4 and talking with the Man and laundry and a slow sunset and two hearts. Yesterday was a flower from one child and being told I was handsome by another. Yesterday was morning, noon, and night. Yesterday was...well, yesterday.

So what will today be?

Monday, October 5, 2009


I have the day off from work today, which means to me that I'm going in to work anyway, but I'm taking the day off from 1) getting there on time, 2) showering, and 3) looking presentable. What fun!