Someone posted on Facebook recently that quotation about how "Motivation is what gets you started; habit is what keeps you going." Unfortunately, sometimes building good habits is a challenge when you're in certain seasons of life. Habits and I don't do great when I'm getting up a lot in the middle of the night and when my days get swept up by the tyranny of the urgent which seems to be life with five kids in the home. So, sometimes I have to depend on motivation more than habit, which means I've been thinking about motivation a bit lately.
The way I see it, you can have positive motivators or negative ones. For example, a negative motivator would be not wanting to be fat, while a positive one would be wanting to be strong and healthy. A negative motivator would be not wanting to get in trouble, while a positive would be wanting to do the right thing. There's not necessarily anything wrong with negative motivators, but sometimes they leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Lately I've been focusing on staying motivated when it comes to exercise. I have accepted that 15 pounds worth of twins have stretched out my stomach past the point of no return, which means wearing a bikini is never going to motivate me. In all honesty, it probably wouldn't have been a motivator even if the twins hadn't turned my stomach into a saggy bag of play fun. What does motivate me: people pleasing.
My awesome beyond all reason next door neighbor comes over twice a week and pours my kids cereal and reads to them while I slip out the door for a quick run. Let me tell you that the emphasis is on quick because I am so grateful that she is doing this that I don't want to unnecessarily take up any more of her time. This has led to me hitting personal speed records just out of a desire not to inconvenience her. It's fantastic.
Warning, though, the desire to keep from inconveniencing others can really bite you in the rear. A few months ago, the Man went and worked out super early so I could fit in a quick run before he left for work. I'd been up and down all night with a teething Twinkle, but I got up to run anyway because--sacrificial husband! The Man tried to talk me out of it, but I stuck to my guns. He got up for me! And I was not going to waste his sacrifice. Maybe you can guess what happened next... I got about 3/4 of a mile from home before I found myself flat on my face on the concrete. I'm not sure if I fell asleep while running or just tripped and was so out of it I didn't remember what happened, but there were bloody knees and an ER visit for an infected hand. So, yeah, keep that people pleasing in check. Don't pull a me. Incidentally, the Man was gracious enough to not say that he told me so when I walked back in the house dripping blood.
One running motivator that has been really positive for me is that the Little Man has been joining me on his bike every now and then. Although sometimes when I'm running my heart out and he's cruising along on his bike like it's no big deal, I kind of want to punch him. In love. Also, he keeps trying to beat me home while I'm cooling off so that he can get sugar infested cinnamon toast for breakfast instead of a more healthy Mom approved option.
I've also been motivated by the fact that every time I go running I rejoice in the fact that I'm not pregnant. I made it most of the way through Twinkle's pregnancy running, but you know what: it's really wonderful to go running with a bowling ball strapped to my front. I'm not sure if this is a positive or negative motivator, but it sure feels positive to me.
Some mornings I'm motivated to get my run done so I can get in from the cold (that's probably a negative motivator). Some mornings the finish line means a hot cup of coffee (definitely positive). And some mornings I'm doing a ten minute yoga video with a 10 month old baby ripping out my hair while I downward dog. There's no motivation on the last one. Just blind survival.
I know that habit will once again become a part of my life at some point. And I'm pretty sure that once I free up some of the forced motivation I'm using to keep my muscles healthy and my soul strong, I'll be able to motivate myself to write a little bit more (until that becomes a habit again too). In the meantime, I'm keeping those runs coming and trying to ask myself honestly how I want to spend the free moments that I do get. Positive motivator there. Instead of the negative motivator of "Well, I really should..." Here's to coffee and friends who have your back and boys on bikes instead of self hatred, fat shaming, and body consciousness. Also, here's to running fast just so I can keep up with the kids.
{If you get this blog in email form, you want to pop over to the actual blog site to see a video of Twinkle showing off her walking skills.}
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| Faithful running partner |
The way I see it, you can have positive motivators or negative ones. For example, a negative motivator would be not wanting to be fat, while a positive one would be wanting to be strong and healthy. A negative motivator would be not wanting to get in trouble, while a positive would be wanting to do the right thing. There's not necessarily anything wrong with negative motivators, but sometimes they leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Lately I've been focusing on staying motivated when it comes to exercise. I have accepted that 15 pounds worth of twins have stretched out my stomach past the point of no return, which means wearing a bikini is never going to motivate me. In all honesty, it probably wouldn't have been a motivator even if the twins hadn't turned my stomach into a saggy bag of play fun. What does motivate me: people pleasing.
Warning, though, the desire to keep from inconveniencing others can really bite you in the rear. A few months ago, the Man went and worked out super early so I could fit in a quick run before he left for work. I'd been up and down all night with a teething Twinkle, but I got up to run anyway because--sacrificial husband! The Man tried to talk me out of it, but I stuck to my guns. He got up for me! And I was not going to waste his sacrifice. Maybe you can guess what happened next... I got about 3/4 of a mile from home before I found myself flat on my face on the concrete. I'm not sure if I fell asleep while running or just tripped and was so out of it I didn't remember what happened, but there were bloody knees and an ER visit for an infected hand. So, yeah, keep that people pleasing in check. Don't pull a me. Incidentally, the Man was gracious enough to not say that he told me so when I walked back in the house dripping blood.
One running motivator that has been really positive for me is that the Little Man has been joining me on his bike every now and then. Although sometimes when I'm running my heart out and he's cruising along on his bike like it's no big deal, I kind of want to punch him. In love. Also, he keeps trying to beat me home while I'm cooling off so that he can get sugar infested cinnamon toast for breakfast instead of a more healthy Mom approved option.
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| The one time I took all the kids with me. Bruiser and Bee thought they were going to die. |
Some mornings I'm motivated to get my run done so I can get in from the cold (that's probably a negative motivator). Some mornings the finish line means a hot cup of coffee (definitely positive). And some mornings I'm doing a ten minute yoga video with a 10 month old baby ripping out my hair while I downward dog. There's no motivation on the last one. Just blind survival.
I know that habit will once again become a part of my life at some point. And I'm pretty sure that once I free up some of the forced motivation I'm using to keep my muscles healthy and my soul strong, I'll be able to motivate myself to write a little bit more (until that becomes a habit again too). In the meantime, I'm keeping those runs coming and trying to ask myself honestly how I want to spend the free moments that I do get. Positive motivator there. Instead of the negative motivator of "Well, I really should..." Here's to coffee and friends who have your back and boys on bikes instead of self hatred, fat shaming, and body consciousness. Also, here's to running fast just so I can keep up with the kids.
{If you get this blog in email form, you want to pop over to the actual blog site to see a video of Twinkle showing off her walking skills.}
