Thursday, December 2, 2010

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Lazy

November bombed on me writing-wise. I blame NaNoWriMo. For those who don't know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month, and I got sucked in. No lie: I am incapable of turning down a challenge. Also no lie: "November" is an anagram for "Not Only Very Exasperational Month But Ever Ridiculous." To sum up, I started NaNoWriMo 8 days late. Wrote furiously for a week and didn't do anything else. Crashed and burned. No writing was done. Little Man got Possibly Pneumonia and an ear infection, and we enjoyed some hang out time in the E.R. No writing was done. Thanksgiving came around, and the three of us traipsed north to hang out with the Philly family (they stuffed their turkey with cheese steak, just kidding). No writing was done. Then I got sick (I blame Littles) and went into a state of unnatural hibernation resulting in a) Cabin Fever and b) Laziness Extraordinaire accented by c) Traces of Poop from the Blowout Diapers caused by Little's antibiotic and d) Lots and Lots of Snot. Obviously, no writing was done. November, on the other hand, was. 50,000 words of fiction? Barely a twinkle in my eye.

But here's the good thing, the Man starts his masters this week, so I can write in the evenings while he's working on saving the world with his new degree and maybe finish my currently half-written and really cheesy novel. Also, for those of you who don't know, December is here, and December is My Month, the month in which I regularly achieve my full measure of happiness and fulfillment. In our family, December is fondly referred to as "Mers-mas". In it, I celebrate my birthday, my favourite holiday, and my anniversary to Most Wonderful Man. In order to get the maximum level of enjoyment out of those celebrations, I have to be extra good the rest of the month so that I can be proud of who I am as a person (this is bad theology). This led me to Michaels yesterday.

My goal for this week has been to recover from this cold, so I've spent most of it on the couch pretending I was dead. Except for when I resurrected to be Zombie Mom. But yesterday I thought I'd recovered enough to be a better version of myself, and first on my list of errands was Michaels to pick up stuff for a wreath. My awesome mother-in-love had sent me a wreath (leftover from our wedding) and a Super Cool Bow that she made with her own two talented hands. I took the S.C.B. to Michaels with me to find other wreath stuff to match. I let Alex hold it for a bit so that he'd feel helpful, but when he exchanged it for a hideous, glittery gold fan, I took it back and tied it to the stroller as his taste has obviously not developed sufficiently at this point. Needless to say, "Christmas had thrown up over Michaels"*, but it also turned out to be one of those days when everyone wanted to carry on a full blown conversation with me. I have one of those faces. Plus, Littles is a great conversation piece. So here I am, wandering the aisles of Michaels in a daze (I'm horrible at craft things like making wreaths), trying to be polite to the hordes of other customers who want to steal my child while surreptitiously wiping my snotty nose on my poo-stained sweatshirt (just kidding, I'm pretty sure it was just baby food) and unable to hear properly because my ears are full of fluid from this cold. Then I looked down at the stroller and realized the Super Cool Bow was gone.

Gone, I say.

I back tracked through Michaels for another ten minutes before I gave up weaving the stroller through piles of glitter and completely changed my mind about what to put on the wreath, which took another thirty minutes of standing in the wreath attachment aisle looking bemused and grungy. I'm sure some lucky person found my S.C.B. and said to themselves, "Wow, this is a Super Cool Bow! I don't see any others like it! I'm going to get it so I can be awesome and unique," and tried to buy it at the register. I, on the other hand, dragged myself home to recover from Michaels (no more errands were done) and attempted to make my own bow (which is only Semi-Cool). But my wreath turned out okay**, and it made the first day of December at least a bit profitable. This blog is what I'm doing to make day two worthy of being in My Month.

*Stolen. I admit. You know who you are.
**I tried to upload a picture to blogger, but it hated me. If you're desperate to see how my wreath turned out, there's a photo on facebook.


  1. Oh you poor dear! I laughed, but just a little. Also, I have had a very similar Michaels experience (the "pretty sure it was just baby food" stained shirt, not the Super Cool Bow).

  2. I know another blogger doing the NaNoRyeMo thingie. Perhaps you could do the odd numbered chapters and she could do the even numbered ones. When it is finally assembled it would be twice as awesome, and you would save lots of time doing it.