Saturday, August 18, 2012

Adventures in Not Getting Lost

Let me be honest: this blog deserves pictures. And I do not have any. The simple reason being that I forgot to bring my camera on our excursion, and my phone's memory is too full to take more pictures (and they won't download onto the computer anyway for some unknown reason), and the Man's phone is on the fritz, by which I mean, his screen has cracked into a gazillion pieces and we are spending extensive time praying over it every day because evidently we didn't get insurance on it and it can't be replaced 'til February. That was a run on sentence. Since I am a bad blogger with no actual photos and really bad grammar, I will have to ungrammatically paint you a picture with my words. But considering that I was up all night with Teething Tiny (this is now his never to be replaced nickname) and his Screeching Sibling (who threw a tantrum at midnight because he was out of water and then another at the crack of dawn because he had wet the bed--naturally), that may not go as well as we might hope.

I digress.

Here's where the story starts. The boys happily ensconced in their car seats, the Man and I up front, lunch plans to discover the "best burger in Oklahoma" which is supposed to be down one road out of base and then something-something-something a dirt road and then to a old, out of use gas station with a sign for peanuts. Yes. I do not exaggerate. This is how they give directions here. Thinking to ourselves that this couldn't be that hard, we blithely headed out under the sunny sky without a care in the world. We then proceeded to criss-cross the entire state of Oklahoma for an hour and a half without finding hide nor hair of Biddy's Burgers and Peanuts. Again, I do not exaggerate. Both boys fell asleep in their car seats; we went through half a tank of gas; we even called for directions (which would've been helpful had we been where we thought we were). We started recognizing cows that we had passed before, but still no Biddy's. The worst part of it is, since we were going to lunch (supposedly), we had not brought road trip snacks! It was a travesty.

Finally we decided to go back to the beginning (Vizzini would've approved) and regroup. And lo and behold, it worked. The hilariously annoying part of it is, we had been driving in circles around Biddy's the entire time. Again: I do not exaggerate. The result of all of this was that we were very hungry by the time we got our burgers and they really did taste like the best burgers in the state of Oklahoma (and possibly the history of mankind) although whether or not they really were is completely up in the air because our taste buds were most likely affected by the growling of our stomachs. Also, as a side note and in case I ever take up work as a food critic and need to prove my absolute, unbiased honesty, the buns did leave something to be desired.

And the point of the story (although really it's not a point and who needs one anyway?) is that although we couldn't find what we were looking for, we weren't really lost, and how does that possibly make any sense?

The End. And yes, you may have some fries with that.

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