Fiction Fast

It's no surprise to all of you that I love to read. When I am honest, I admit that novels are my favorite. Additionally, I have a weakness for children's lit, young adult fiction, and fantasy. I am the queen of getting through an entire series in less than a week, yes, even with five kids. But I realize that balance is important and left to my own devices, I am not balanced at all. Ever.

This crazy kid is not taking a break from books any time soon.

So, a couple times a year, I take a month or so off from novels to kind of reboot my system. This year I decided to take the whole season of Lent. Unfortunately for me, I didn't think through the fact that a) Lent is a lot longer than a month and b) Lent is occurring right at the beginning of a huge season of transition during which I emotionally really (really) (no, really) want to take occasional breaks from my own life. Consequently, this round of novel free time has been embarrassingly uncomfortable. Sure, I have other books to read, but nonfiction doesn't take me out of my own life and deposit me somewhere else in quite the same way. Instead, it inevitably forces me to really think through big life questions. This is exhausting and has to be done in small increments.

Sure, taking a break from fiction has freed up my time to do other things--presumably, write--but I had to get through a couple weeks of intense withdrawal symptoms first. My initial response was to start deep breathing and remind myself that I only had to get through forty days of this (plus Sundays--thanks for the sucker punch, Lent). I started treating this fiction fast like labor: take a deep breath and get through this calmly knowing there will be an adorable baby and no more pregnancy on the other side. But then I realized that I was missing the point.

And here is a super old picture of Bee reading.
Look at those cheeks.
I might teach her to read now that I'm not wasting
all my time reading novels...

We fast during Lent not to "get through it" but to position ourselves so that we can see more clearly our need for Christ. If this is the case, then my fiction fast is extremely effective. First, I've seen (again) how much I numb myself through entertainment so that I can tough it out and get through things instead of acknowledging the emotional struggle that is just under the surface. Second, I've seen (again) how often instead of coming to Christ in prayer, I ignore what's actually going on by reading. Third, I've seen (again) how my coping mechanism helps me feel in control of my circumstances instead of acknowledging that I'm not in control but I serve a trustworthy God who is. These are all good things to learn but man, they are a punch in the gut.

And this punch in the gut brings me back to the Gospel. On my own, I will never be good enough. I will always want my own way. I will always choose something other than God, even though I know that he is the greatest good there is for me. But thank God, he sent his Son to die for my sins, paying the price so that I can be healed from all that distorts who God originally intended me to be! Only through Christ can I find wholeness, which he gives me as a gift every time he gives me himself. And that is something that I'm never going to find in a novel, no matter how well written.

So what about you? Are you fasting from something for Lent? If so, what? and why?