Thursday, November 19, 2020

Friendship Curry

When we left Florida, I made a list of things I was going to miss...and things I was not going to miss. Because sometimes, it really helps to write things out so that later when you are romanticizing the last base, you have tangible evidence that, yes, you really did live in an RV where you thought the floor was going to give way at any moment and the cat litter had to hang out under the girls' bed, but also so that if you look back and start to think that everything must've been terrible (you lived in an RV with five kids and three pets!), you have written proof that you also had a sunrise over the water to enjoy every morning and dolphins who would drop by for breakfast (okay, that part didn't actually happen).

I'm so glad I took this picture back in FL,
so I can remember how wonderful that food was.

One of the things that I didn't expect to miss as much as I have, though, was quality Thai food. I'll admit, I knew our Thai place was good. I mean, it was my comfort food: five minutes down the road from us, it was the Man's best "My wife has had a long day, let me fix this" option. But we were moving to DC...ish. Obviously, there would be good Thai food in DC.

WRONG.

We've tried five different Thai places in our neighborhood now, and with the exception of the curry puffs (which is really kind of a DC specific Thai option, and I do love them), they have all been a disappointment. Every time, I get my hopes up. Every time, my curried dreams are crushed.

So today I manned up and made Thai red curry myself. And it was...okay. At least a little better than the bland, veggie-less sauces we've been getting from the nearby restaurants. The kids liked it (well, all except for Tiny who would survive on a diet of pizza, baby carrots, and donuts if given the choice), but the Man and I agreed it needed some tweaking.

The Man took this fancy photo of dinner in the works.
My wok can cook enough for a small country.
Which means, sometimes we have leftovers.

Part of the problem is that curry done well is a many layered thing. Or at least that's how it seems to me as I've been digging through recipes in search of one that can give me the quality I want for about 10% of the effort that should be required. The recipe I tried was merely okay because if you don't put in about thirty different ingredients and then let it simmer until the flavors meld, you just don't get the rich depth of a good curry. It's fine to feed a six year old, whose tastebuds are still in the developmental stage, but for a woman who comfort-ate her way through a swimming pool of curry last year: standards were not met.

I was thinking about these things while stirring the curry and simultaneously batting texts back and forth across the country to friends in TX, FL, VA, etc., people that we've met and maintained relationships with from our varied bases (and from life before that too). Much like my Thai place, we don't get to physically take the people with us, though--thanks to modern communication--many more of my friendships do get to travel with me, at least to a certain extent. With each move, the people I meet add a depth and richness to my life that I couldn't have anticipated. There was no gap in my friend circle, necessarily, but once I get to know these new souls, I wonder how I couldn't have missed them earlier.

This is the picture the Man sent me
while I was on an out of town trip to prove 
that, if I die, he can probably keep the kids alive.

For instance, our homeschool community in FL was incredible--they held me up during a season when we were all weary and worn, and let me do the same for them. It was hard to imagine that I could luck out enough to land in another great community when we got here, but we did! True, the relationships are not the same (who could expect them to be?), but the joy of getting to learn from the women I'm with now, enriches even further what I was able to gain from friends in FL, who had already added another layer to friends we'd left behind in TX, and so on.

This month, we got news about where we will be heading next. Yes, we just got here. That's how it works sometimes. We still have over half of a year left, but I am so grateful already to see the quality of the relationships that we have been able to build here. I hope I have been a blessing to those around me, but I know I have been blessed by them. They are secret ingredients in my life, helping give flavor and depth that I didn't even know I was missing. And that helps me look forward to the people I'll get to know at the next base too...no matter how exhausting building new community always is. Because when it comes to comfort: curry and community are really the best ways to go. Even if sometimes you really have to work for them.

This kids don't really care about curry
and are pretty sure they should satisfy all
community needs ever. Just saying.

1 comment:

Emily Fearing said...

I would have thought you'd be able to find good curry in the DC area too! That's a very sad loss, curry is amazing. :)
When I was growing up we would make big batches of homemade curry paste (started with the right type of peppers, fresh lemongrass, galangal root, etc.) and froze it in quart size Ziploc bags in a thin enough layer that we could break chunks off and then when we wanted to make curry for dinner we would use the homemade frozen curry paste. We made red, green, and massaman curry pastes. I'll ask my mom for the name of the cookbook we used but I'm sure you can also find recipes online, just an idea for having complex, multi-layers of flavor, tried and true curry without all the ingredient hunting and chopping every time.