Knitting My Heart to Another's

My lovely friend J. Elle's new book Wings of Ebony comes out this week (tomorrow!). In honor of her and upcoming Black History month (and MLK Day, which I missed already), I wanted to spend some time reading books that would give me a window into African American life. This last year we have had a lot of challenging conversations about race with our kids, wanting to do what we can on our end to prepare our kids to be advocates, defenders, supporters, and friends. The Man and I have read articles and books, talked to our minority friends, and spent a lot of time in prayer and discussion together. I haven't talked about this on the blog much because there are so many other voices who are talking about these issues with much more eloquence and insight, but I did want to share a few of the books that I've read just this week in particular.

May I challenge you, if you pick up one of these books yourself, not to read looking for what you agree or disagree with, but just to listen to the voices of those who have traditionally not been heard? Let them speak, let yourself be uncomfortable...and sit with it for a little while. 

Well-Read Black Women by Glory Edim. This collection of essays gave me so much food for thought. Well written and easy to pick up whenever I got a break (not as easy to put down), I came to this book expecting to walk for a while in another's shoes (and did!) but didn't expect to see a reflection of myself in the pages as well--myself caught between cultures, uncomfortable in my own skin, simultaneously feeling both not enough and too much. Chances are that you too have at some point felt "other", and if you have not, that you have people around you who do. Worth the read.

Dear Martin by Nic Stone. I picked this book up one morning and didn't get up again until it was finished an hour and a half later. Powerful and thought provoking, it was filled with nuance and grace. I cared deeply about the protagonist, Justyce, and his friends, and my heart broke again over the bigger issues through which they were struggling. Front end warning that this is written from the perspective of a 17 year old boy so there is language used that some may feel to be crass. My reminder to myself was that it's always the moments when I feel that I'm not being heard that I want to use the strongest words.

This Is My America by Kim Johnson. I stayed up far too late last night to finish the last few pages of this book. Both a mystery and a powerful confrontation of how historic racism has to be pulled up by the roots instead of just brushed over and moved past, I didn't always like this book. I am still glad that I read it. If I only ever read books that make me feel happy, I am never going to receive a chance to grow. Sometimes, I need to jam my ski-shaped size eleven feet into someone else's shoes for a while before I can walk away humbled, with more compassion and a wider perspective.

I'll close with this. One of the lines in Dear Martin wonders about whether, when white juries acquit a white shooter, it is because they look at the white defendant and see themselves, and don't want to see a murderer in their mirror. It reminded me of a conversation I'd had with my Bible study kids where they connected Matthew 5:21-22 to Matthew 10:17, 21 with the powerful acknowledgement, "We are all murderers and traitors." Yes, that is the truth. When we look in our hearts, there hides a murderous traitor. And this is good news. In our own racism, we see our need for Jesus. He has come that we may have life and so that our brothers and sisters with different skin tones and cultures and stories may have life too. But if we don't first look in the mirror and see our own inner ugliness, we'll never understand our need for Jesus. And then we'll be missing out on so much, most of all on a relationship with him, but also on a depth of love and a closeness of knit hearts with those around us.

Book Your Thanksgiving Now!

Looking to do a last minute pre-Thanksgiving library run so you're stocked up for your Thanksgiving break (and prepared in case everything shuts back down after Thanksgiving due to Covid)? This is your last minute list! And it's extra last minute because you've got to believe I planned to write this yesterday but I got distracted by making empanadas. Also, while the kids and the Man say the homemade empanada dough was totally worth it for them, I'm not sure it was totally worth it for me. Just saying. Also, anything that resembles pie crust is not really my friend.

Not the point! The point is: books!

Tis the season to sit by the fire with a book.

First up, a few Thanksgiving themed reads. The kids really enjoyed both of these books about Sarah Hale (the woman who encouraged President Lincoln to declare Thanksgiving a national holiday): Thank You, Sarah by Laurie Halse Anderson and Sarah Gives Thanks by Mike Allegra. I personally loved that though both books had the same subject matter, the authors presented it in very different ways. Both were worth reading, and (surprisingly) the kids didn't mind reading them back to back.

Because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday!
Other than Mersmas.

Next up was Thanks for Thanksgiving, which Bruiser absolutely loved. Also, he's totally reading now (though he kind of sounds like a robot running out of batteries), and this has been a huge win for me as a homeschool mom and as a woman who would desperately like to decrease the noise level in her home. Thanks for Thanksgiving is a good one for your littler dudes; Twinkle was also a huge fan. I'd also like to give a shout out to Eve Bunting's A Turkey for Thanksgiving (with great illustrations by Diane de Groat and a fun twist at the end) and Oge Mora's Thank You, Omu! (which was a great way to show my kids the far reaching affects of generosity and let them dip their toes in another culture).

Kid was super proud of himself.

Also making the rounds at our house are the Princess in Black books by Shannon Hale, which have been a smash hit with Bee, who more and more has her nose stuck in a book, and the Lloyd Alexander Prydain Chronicles, which were fantastic read alouds (I think I mentioned them in the last book blog--sorry if I did and there's a repeat). The best part about reading a series is that when you finish one book, you know exactly what you want to read next! And sometimes what you want to read next has international princesses and a monster who needs a bath (Princess in Black) or an enchanted princess and a hairy sidekick who needs a bath (Prydain Chronicles). Never mind, it sounds like these are pretty much the same series. Kidding! They could not be more different but are both funny and engaging and full of happiness.

Car time reading--when you know she's crossed 
into really being my daughter.

On a personal front, I plowed through Save the Cat! Writes a Novel thanks to a friend telling me it would fix all my writing issues (I think she may be overly optimistic, but it has been helpful). If you're a writer and need a jumping off point or just somewhere that will help you think about basic structure and plotting, this may be worth your time. I'll let you know if I ever get published again. Ha!

Please note the beautiful RV reflected in my sunglasses.
And then call me and offer to buy it off us...
preferably for an obscene amount of money.

And then there are the books that are just good for your soul. I already mentioned Andrew Murray's Abide in Christ. When I finished it, I moved onto The Storm-Tossed Family by Russell Moore. I'm still getting little snippets of that one in the mornings before the kids get up, and so far, it's been really thought provoking. I keep sending the Man snippets of quotes. I did pause in reading it, though, to plow through Anjuli Paschall's Stay which had some really excellent lines about relationships and gifting. You can tell she's naturally a blogger as the chapters are short and easy to digest quickly.

Reading good books helps my brain not turn to mush.

Then the Man read Conscience by Andrew David Naselli and J. D Crowley and has been trying to get me to read it too. It's going to happen--soon! He highly recommended it to both of our families, and since I trust his judgment, I'm going to highly recommend it to you. Without even reading it yet. Which shows you the extreme level of trust functioning in our marriage these days. Also, I'm a risk taker. He said it was especially timely for him to read considering our current political climate. Just throwing that out there for you.

According to the Man: worth my time.
And ostensibly yours.

But it's not all serious books. I also come bearing gifts of novels--but sadly without pictures since most of my novel reading happens on the kindle app of my phone (which means I can more easily read while washing dishes--I keep a towel over my shoulder so I can dry off a finger to flip the page). Ally Carter, one of my favorite young adult writers, put out a new book, Winterbourne Home of Vengeance and Valor, which kicks off a new series. I love Carter because she makes me laugh and keeps me guessing and is also the perfect light read when you're already 88% brain dead. Another favorite YA writer who also makes me laugh and keeps me guessing but cannot be read while brain dead (otherwise you'll have to reread to catch everything you missed) is Megan Whalen Turner, who just released the last book in her Queen's Thief series, Return of the Thief. It came in on my library app after a long day of teaching and could not have made my heart happier. I read the first book in the series, The Thief, when I was still in middle school, I think, and to get to see all the loose ends tied up made my heart happy, even though, honestly, it was not my favorite book in the series and I would quibble with Turner over a handful of the choices she made. There was no blind fan-girling, but there were a few hours of happy reading.

There was, however, blind fan-girling when I read Kate Milford's Greenglass House duology. If you can pick only two books for cozy fireside reading this winter, these were really delightful (and I'm trying to track down the other books she wrote in this world). Although they will make you want all the steaming beverages and leave you expecting snow at any moment, even though you know that's not realistically what will happen. 

The Man gets photo credit for this picture.
Also, is this not the perfect Sunday afternoon?

Last up, a quick smattering of nonfiction for your reading life. First up, Tribe by Sebastian Junger was a fascinating read and led to some great discussion time with the Man (so much so that we accidentally let Twinkle stay up an hour past her bedtime). If you are interested in the human psyche and how community and war affect it, this will give you some good food for thought. The Man and I had fun picking apart what we liked and disliked about the book and digging into how it affected our world view. Then, in my constant quest to read more memoirs, I read both Glitter and Glue by Kelly Corrigan and Life from Scratch by Sasha Martin. Both fascinating reads that delve into complex relationship with their moms, I especially loved Martin's international food flare and had to go poke around on her blog afterward. All three books were well worth my time.

And on that note, there are turkeys to brine and other work to do and a jug of milk left out on the counter after the kids got their own breakfast because I was ensconced in the recliner and not inclined to move. Also, the girls are now discussing making clothes for one of their dolls, and I'm terrified that scissors are involved. Happy Thanksgiving! Thank God for books and creative children and living life on the edge!

Squashing in a Book Blog

There is not enough time in my days right now, but it appears that there is always enough time to read. When we first got to Virginia, our local library had not yet reopened, but I was so happy to be back with my own books, to have old favorites to reread, and I was so busy getting the house set up, that I didn't really mind. And about the time I was really ready for new reading material and considering panic as a legitimate life choice (or possibly blowing the Man's salary on books and more bookshelves), lo and behold, I met an awesome neighbor who told me that our library had just started back curbside pick up. Perfect timing!

My face with books is about that content.

With that said, our library books have come trickling in so slowly that it's kind of felt like we are men dying of thirst on a desert island trying to drink dew drops off leaves in the morning. The kids and I saw a woman returning a huge stack of library books the other day while we waited for our two that had come in, and we were practically salivating as she put them in the return box one by one for a solid five minutes. From the back row, plaintively: "How come she gets so many library books?" 

When your ten year old leaves The Goblet of Fire
outside and it gets rained on...

It becomes fodder for the fire pit
and your loving husband buys you a new copy...

With that said, a few books that we've been reading!

First up, after many long years of hunting, I finally tracked down Julia Stuart's The Tower, the Zoo, and the Tortoise. This has been on my To Read list for years, but none of my libraries have had it. Finally, the Man moves us to a library system where it is available! Which just proves my point that the military is not helping me break my reading habit. Though I still prefer Stuart's Pigeon Pie Mystery, The Tower (etc) had Stuart's signature quirk that made for some fun reading. All the historical information she included about the Tower of London was utterly fascinating, and there were some truly moving moments that left me a little choked up. I can't give it a 100% recommendation as there are a couple inclusions I could've done without, but I am finally glad to have scratched an itch I've carried with me for years, and any book that can make me both laugh and nearly cry while reading about accidental pig theft feels like a win in my book. No pun intended.

I was so excited to finally find this,
even if it wasn't as good as her other novel.

On a very different note, the Man handed me a copy of Dan Crenshaw's Fortitude earlier in the month, and, wow, we had some great discussions from that. If you are married and don't take the time to occasionally overlap books with your spouse, you're really missing out. I found that Fortitude was really worth a read as we look at our current culture and ask hard questions about it. Also, when you're thinking about skipping a run and your husband looks at you and says, "Crenshaw would not approve", you know he's probably right and you get your rear in gear and go get it done. Politics aside, Crenshaw speaks to some areas we all need challenging in. It's now the Man's current favorite book to give away. 

This is the Man's picture, not mine.
I didn't ask his permission to use it because
I feel like he gave up that right when he married me.

At the same time that I was plowing through Fortitude, I was savoring a gift from one of my favorite people. Opening my mailbox to find Refractions by Makoto Fujimara was the best "Welcome to a new home" present I could ever get. Written by a Japanese-American artist whose studio was right off Ground Zero, this book encouraged and challenged me so much as an artist, as an American, and as a Christian. Beautifully written and with so much food for thought, I was constantly texting the Man quotes from it until he finally just asked to borrow it when I was done. Then he got derailed by grad school reading, but that's another story. I will say, though, that when my friend Marianne sent it to me, I did wonder briefly if she thought I was smarter than I actually am. But pushing myself to read something that truly engaged my mind was really wonderful and made me wonder if I'm finally exiting the blurred mind years of babies and YA fiction.

A fantastically beautiful book, and not just aesthetically.

Speaking of YA fiction (except not, because this is really Middle Grade), for yet another win by Gary D. Schmidt, First Boy is my new reading suggestion for your middle schooler, especially as we head into election season. With political shenanigans threaded throughout, First Boy asks what truly matters to us as humans as well as citizens. I told Littles this was required reading for him as I want him to learn things that the main character, Cooper, can teach him. I want him to ask what he's willing to fight for and why. And I want him to see that, while the world will not always conspire to help him fight for those things, there are good people out there who will come alongside him to encourage him...though it may not always be the people he expects.

Library propaganda--the kind I can get behind.

While we're talking about the kids, we are currently plowing through The Prydain Chronicles by Lloyd Alexander together. These are books that stand the test of time. My mom read them out loud to my sisters and me when we were kids, and now I'm thoroughly enjoying reading them out loud to my own kids. There is humor; there is conflict; there are life lessons to be learned. Most importantly to me, there are characters who change and grow. Also, there are witches who lovingly threaten to turn you into toads, and Bee may have been a little too excited about that part. If you're looking for a new series to enjoy with your kids: these are a win.

Including this picture because I want to know how the words
are reflecting onto the table. Science minds, teach me.

Another series option, though not in the continuing plot line sense, is the Trailblazers series. You know you've landed yourself in the right church when your pastor provides reading material for your ten year old. Littles has really enjoyed both of the books he was given and is asking for more. He started with The Girl Who Loved Mountains about Francis Ridley Havergal, but then raced through A Slave Set Free about John Newton, which definitely captured his adventure loving mind. He's also liked the books he's gotten to read from the Christian Heroes series, so if you're looking for historical reads for your kids that will teach them more about history and hopefully also encourage their faith, both of those series appear to be wins.

Reading makes for happy kids.

But, if you're needing something on a younger level, I can help you there too. I had a friend suggest Trish Cooke's work, and I am so glad she did! Twinkle has enjoyed Full, Full, Full of Love this week, and I have too. I want her to read books where she engages with cultures that are not the same as hers and people who look differently from her. This applies to all of my children really. And Trish Cooke does a great job of presenting family from a different perspective. We read So Much! at our last library, and I'm looking forward to seeing what else we can find of hers.

Included because, come on, that is adorable.

The last two books on my list are impactful reads for very different reasons. First, I finally got a copy of Myquillin Smith's Cozy Minimalist Home (new libraries that have books I've been wanting are my favorite). As a constant mover of homes, I fully admit that I love Myquillin Smith (otherwise known as the Nester) and pretty much anything she writes. I don't read a lot of decorating blogs/books, but hers have been worth my time. Honestly, I wish I could've read this before we moved in, but a lot of the principles she'd shared on her blog, so I was able to implement more than I realized. With that said, the book was definitely worth it. So much so that I completely moved my living room around (the living room that I just set up two months ago) last Tuesday morning--and I am so glad that I did. Even the Man has commented on how much better it feels. This also involved rehanging a set of pictures that I didn't manage to get perfectly straight this time because by the time I got around to the rehanging, I was feeling more than a smidge guilty about making my kids "homeschool" while I moved furniture around them. If you are someone who moves often (or just someone who doesn't feel comfortable in their own home and isn't sure how to fix it), this is a great book to grab. Smith breaks down the how to of setting up a room into accessible steps that made an immediate difference for me.

I meant to give you before and afters of the living room
after it was Cozy Minimalized. I forgot.
Somehow, we will all survive.

Finally, though I was making YA fiction jokes earlier, that genre will always be near and dear to my heart. One of the YA authors I keep an eye out for is Sharon Cameron who recently released The Light in Hidden Places, which is based on the true story of a young Polish girl who sheltered thirteen Jews in her home while simultaneously being forced to provide housing for a pair of Nazi nurses. Cameron tells in the afterward the handful of things that she tweaked to make the narrative run more smoothly, and I could not believe how little she had changed because I could not believe that anyone could survive what Stefania Podgorska survived. It was hands down Cameron's best book to date and well worth the read. I tell the kids often that we study history so that we can see our present with clear eyes. Without the bigger perspective of history, we miss out on understanding our now. Find a copy and let me know what you think.

Such a good read. Highly recommend!

Honorable mention goes out to two excellent books that I'm enjoying during my morning quiet time. The only get honorable mention because I'm not quite done with them yet, not because they aren't great books. First up, Andrew Murray's Abide in Christ. The chapters are short and the writing simple, but the eternal truths so necessary for my soul. If you are wanting more from your relationship with Christ, this is a good place to start. My brother-in-law gave it to me when I was still in college, and I was so glad to rediscover it on my bookshelf.

Globe, white board, and squashy bean bag in the background
clue you in to how this room is used when the kids are up.

I'm also only part of the way through Francis Chan's Forgotten God (another early morning quiet time and coffee read), but was informed by the library that it's due back tomorrow and someone else has requested it so there's no fudging by continuing to renew it endlessly. it's been so good that I may try to really plow through it today at intervals between giving spelling lists and picking up groceries. Again, along with Andrew Murray's book, this is for the Christian asking for more from their walk with Christ than just check marks in their day. It has been excellent so far.

Yes, I took most of the pictures sitting in the recliner.
Sue me.
But they were all on different days, so be impressed by that.

And for now, that's it! May your reading time abound, your book choices broaden your mind and enlarge your heart, and your library allow for curbside pick up, which right now seems the biggest book blessing I can pronounce.

Books on Quarantine

This week, finally succumbing to the insanity that is social isolation, I accidentally lit my hair on fire.

First off, I'm fine, the kids are fine, the RV didn't burn to the ground (which, unfortunately, now means that we actually have to sell it), and I'm not bald. Yet. It took me a couple days of hysterical laughter before I realized that those options were all things I should've been legitimately worried about.

Second, yes, I am now in rather desperate need of a hair cut, so if you know any rule breaking, bandit hair stylists willing to wield a pair of scissors and risk their lives to COVID-19, let me know.

Obviously, I still have some hair and many children attached.

I also accidentally ate cat food, but that's another story, and completely unnecessary at this time (and at all times). But speaking of stories, let's talk books! (Bonus points for that segue.)

I have--naturally--been doing a lot of reading during this time, thanks, in large part, to our online library (whoever came up with the idea of online libraries has my eternal gratitude) and the fact that I stocked up on books the literal day that our library closed for the pandemic. Our library has currently reopened for at the door pick ups of hold items, which has brought additional joy and reading material (that was redundant) into our home.

One of the great things about not being able to browse through the library is that I get to be more purposeful in what books I bring home for the kids. I am systematically working through lists of "greatest picture books for kids" or "what books should you read before twelve" and ensuring that there are no huge gaps of classic literature that the kids haven't been exposed to. The other great thing about not being able to browse through the library is that my kids come home with fewer junk books. Hurray for that.

At any rate, (drum roll, please), some books that you too can request from your library, if you are lucky enough to have a library that still lets you pick up happiness in the form of a book! (If not, online book stores would love your business, and your book shelves will thank you even if your bank account does not. Your therapist may thank you too because reading makes people happy and reading children are less likely to drive you insane.)

First up, the kids and I just finished the audiobooks of the Gregor the Overlander series by Suzanne Collins read by Paul Boehmer. I'll be honest and say that I didn't think I was going to love them as much as I did. But, oh, I did. There was laughter, yelling at the car stereo, and even tears as we drove and listened. My husband thinks I'm insane. The kids love me forever for picking this series. My eldest son got banned from the internet after googling the ending halfway through book five. All these things are true. The story begins when a young boy falls through a grate in his laundry room and discovers an entire underground world full of strange people, huge animals, and imminent death. Mad props to Paul Boehmer for his reading. It's up there with my favorite audiobooks of all time, Bud, Not Buddy (read by James Avery) and The Saturdays (read by Pamela Dillman). Any time I think that I couldn't have read it out loud better myself, it's a win for us.

Speaking of books that I read out loud, the kids and I just finished the six book series The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place. When a book can combine literature, geography, and Latin references (and even more) with a handful of snark, a good dash of quirk, and a mixed bag of ridiculous characters, my children are all on board. Now to get them to stop howling like wolves. I loved these books on their own, but they were fantastic for how often they underscored what we were learning in school. I cannot count the number of times the kids or I would say, "That's just like what we learned today!" And they also got the kids to sit and listen to me read aloud "Rime of the Ancient Mariner", "The Wreck of the Hesperus", and several other epic poems. If you'd like to read about children raised by wolves, ancient family curses, and a governess just as plucky but definitely funnier than Jane Eyre, pick these up. If you read them with your kids, they may start bellowing "DO SVIDANIYA" at opportune times, and strangers will think you are awesome for teaching your kids Russian.

Carpet burn bindis happen when you trip on your sister.

On the "teaching the twins to read" front, Bruiser and Bee are making some real progress tackling books of their own. Millions of Cats was a huge hit with Bee--she loved the repeated refrain of "hundreds of cats, thousands of cats, millions and billions and trillions of cats"--and Bruiser had a great time reading about his literary doppelgänger in No, David (which I think may have visited the blog back when Littles was, well, little). I regretted reading No, David with Bruiser as he quite emphatically informed me that the mom sounded just like me, but if the shoe fits, let us, by all means, wear it. Especially as some of us have large feet and can't fit in just any shoe.

The resemblance is only marred by all Bruiser's Corona-hair.

Twinkle, meanwhile, is determined that she too is reading and will pick books at random and make up whatever she wants them to say while forming the words very slowly so as to imitate the twins. Yesterday she read the acknowledgements page in The Jesus Storybook Bible which evidently says, "The people are going to sleep where they are going to say something." I finally kicked her out of the living room as her "reading" was distracting Bruiser, who was actually trying to read for real, and she returned twenty minutes later, informing me that she had read "every word" in her Storybook Bible. Child has no limits.

Reading is for everyone. Reading is for everywhere.

As to the Bigs, Tiny has finally admitted that I choose good books for him (took him eight years before he realized that I pick better than he does). He plowed through The Hobbit at the end of the school year and is now tackling The Lord of the Rings and talking me into movie nights on week days. Since we are done with school (other than the twins who are destined to do math and reading with me until I die or they are reading fluently) and since his freckles are the most beautiful thing in my world, last night we watched the first half of The Two Towers, and I didn't even feel guilty about it. He also blew through Alice's Adventures in Wonderland in two hours and is begging me to get Through the Looking Glass for him next.

I'm sorry for two pictures of Twinkle, but she's so darn cute.
Also, the Bigs don't like me to take pictures of them any more.

Littles, meanwhile, has reached the apex of nerdiness and is reading The Silmarillion--something I have never even done (don't revoke my nerd card, please, I need it or I'll have an identity crisis). My favorite book he's read lately though has to be The Faithful Spy by John Hendrix, a graphic novel about Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Beautifully done, there is so much to learn and so much to challenge thinking, I'd strongly suggest it for any history or theology lovers. I'm so glad Littles read it--and glad I did too.

Reading makes you smart, creative, AND strong.

Other than The Faithful Spy--and a bunch of fluff novels that I won't recommend but that keep me entertained while the kids are doing things I don't want to know about--my favorite novel from the last month or so was What the Night Sings by Vesper Stamper. Also set during WWII, it is beautiful, poignant, and full of hope. It might have also made me want to adopt certain Jewish traditions in our home like the lighting of Shabbat candles--but candles and I haven't been on good terms lately, so I may wait on that one.

I also really appreciated Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth's Adorned. If you're looking for a nonfiction read that will challenge you to think through the little choices you are making in your day-to-day as well as how you can encourage and learn from other women, this might be it for you. I wrote down so many quotes, and I'm still pondering what I learned.

Keep an eye out for Twinkle who likes to steal the very
expensive bookmark you were using (your phone) and
replace it with a leaky water bottle.

One more, my favorite fantasy novel from the last few weeks would have to be The Forgotten Beasts of Eld by Patricia A. McKillip. I feel like I should've read this one a long time ago, but didn't, but I loved reading it as an adult. The language is so rich, and McKillip doesn't take short cuts or weaken the power of the story but taking easy outs. I'd put it on my list of classic fantasy books that every fantasy lover should read.

There are so many wonderful books out there, so I hope you are getting to enjoy at least a few of them while you're home a little bit more. One of the best ways to enjoy our current season of social isolation is to surround ourselves with fictional (and sometimes historical) characters who get to live lives that we could never experience for ourselves (especially while we're staying home). Often, this helps us see our own life circumstances in completely new ways or just helps us to use our time wisely to learn and grow so that when we go back into the world, we come with something new to share. And picking up a book is always a better choice than, say, lighting one's hair on fire or eating cat food...so there's that.

If our family isn't reading, this is a perfectly acceptable reality.

Here's to Sahabats

Do you ever read a book and find yourself saying, "Yes, exactly!" as you read? And then it feels like every conversation you find yourself in opens right up to discussing it? And it's not that you agree with everything the author is saying, but that you read it at just the right moment when it resonated with you in just the right way?

This week's book was that for me. Kayleen Schaefer's Text Me When You Get Home is an homage to female friendship, and I picked it up at just the right time. We are at the beginning of our final few months in Florida, a place where God has blessed me with the friendship of some incredible women, and preparing to move on to a place where I will start over and make new friends (ideally). Meanwhile, I continue to have the chance to touch base with other women who have hung in there with me during the long years of many moves through occasional phone calls, the rare face to face meeting, emails, FaceTime, and sporadic texting all while continuing to take care of all the other things we have on our plates.

As I read, I couldn't help but be grateful for the amazing friendships I've been a part of. And I also found myself encouraged to keep pursuing these friendships and not let them diminish. It is easy as a military spouse to let old friendships slip through your fingers like sand. We say, "It's not goodbye; it's only see you later!" but what we often mean is "If I see you again, that will be fantastic, but I don't really expect either of us to stay in contact." I told a friend several years ago that I never have expectations about who will maintain long distance relationships with me after we move. I always just wait and see how things pan out after a couple months. This helps me to keep from getting my heart hurt when I find the time stretching longer and longer between phone calls and text messages. It is the way the world turns--we are grown women who are busy, and in some seasons of life, we need friends who are physically with us, and I understand that.

But how grateful I am for the friend who texts out of the blue to say they were thinking of me. Or the friend from college who couldn't wait to tell me a piece of good news on the phone. Or the friend who makes plans to visit me before I've even left for the next base. How grateful I am for girl's weekends away (and for a husband and parents who make things like that happen). For sisters and moms (mine and the Man's) who choose not to take our relationship for granted but to pursue a consistent friendship with me that stays stable no matter how many others drift in and out of my life (or rather how many people's lives I drift in and out of). For a husband who understands that he is not supposed to meet my every emotional need and encourages me to get out of my introvert shell and spend time with people who will nourish my soul. For friends who are different from each other and different from me so that we all have the opportunity to learn and grow. For friends who purposefully choose to walk life with me even though it is at times inconvenient and uncomfortable (and overly full of rambunctious children). For friends who understand that when I tell them they are my sahabat I mean that they are a friend of my heart.

I'm only including this one really fantastic picture with my sisters
so that the rest of you guys don't start a war over who I love most
based on whose photo made it and whose didn't.
Also, because this picture is fabulous.

I'll admit that as we head to this next assignment, knowing that it will be shorter than usual, part of me has wanted to coast on old friendships and not put forth the effort to build new ones when we will be there for only a few months. Schaefer reminded me of something that I already knew but needed to hear again: you never know when you're going to meet a person who could be your new best friend. This doesn't mean the old ones are getting replaced, just that there are so many wonderful people out there in the world, and I don't want to miss out on the blessing of getting to know them just because there's another goodbye right around the corner.

As I finished the book yesterday morning, I found myself thinking about the friends I wanted to check in on, but I also found myself wondering if there were friends who didn't realize how much they meant to me
and what I could do to fix that. It doesn't take long. A phone call or a text message, a quick email when I have a moment or taking the time to go talk face to face if I can. There is not one of us who doesn't need to hear that we are loved, treasured, worth someone else's time and energy. And there is not one of us incapable of passing that message along to the people we love.

And it might be a message that arrives at just the right time.

Almost like a book showing up in my online library account just when I needed to read it.

Fall Reading

There's something about fall (even the pretend Florida version of fall) that makes me want to curl up under a blanket with a good book and a large mug of something hot. I also don't turn down snuggling with children and reading out loud to them. In case you are on a similar wavelength, I thought I'd provide a few of our latest and greatest.

Just returned to the library this morning, Brendan Wenzel's A Stone Sat Still is first on our list. Honestly, I didn't want to give it back. The illustrations were beautiful, and I wanted more time to talk with the kids about the meaning and depth that Wenzel provides. In a nutshell: some things change and some things remain the same, but perspective is everything.

My other favorite picture book choice for the month was not at all deep or moving, but was definitely hilarious. Neck & Neck by Elise Parsley had me laughing hard, and it'll crack you up too. This is what happens when a giraffe gets jealous of a balloon.

Twinkle doesn't look entertained in this photo,
but that was because she was ready for her nap.

My favorite middle grade series this month were The Doldrums by Nicholas Gannon (those illustrations! that story line! those fantastic characters!) and Peter Nimble and His Fantastic Eyes and its sequel Sophie Quire and the Story Guard by Jonathan Auxier (because all the things!). I neglected to get good pictures for either of these, so basically, I'm the worst. Love me anyway. I will say, as a tease, that I just picked up another Jonathan Auxier book from the library today, Sweep, because I liked Peter Nimble and Sophie Quire so much. Beautiful writing, thoughtful and creative. The kind of book I wish I could write. Although I thought that reading The Doldrums too (and listening to The Benedict Society with the kids--but I wasn't planning to write about that tonight).

But here I am with my copy of book 2 of the Doldrums
that I talked the Man into buying while we were in Maine.
Our suitcase was much heavier going home.
Bookstores, man...

Next up, two excellent non-fiction reads to add to your list. First, War of Words by Paul David Tripp. I don't know how many quotes I sent the Man from this, but it was a doozy. So much to learn. So much to think about. So much to try to implement. I have never been more conscious of the many ways I fail when I communicate with others (and I don't just mean yelling at my kids or being passive aggressive with my husband). But it wasn't just a kick in the rear. It was a kick in the rear that gave me hope that I could change.

My other favorite non-fiction book this month was Christopher McDougall's Born to Run. An absolutely fascinating look at the history of running chock full of fascinating stories and mind boggling characters. I loved learning about the Tarahumara and getting to hear McDougall's own story. But it really stunk to read it when I'm not currently running myself. So read it, and then go for a run in my honor.

Twinkle is posing with Mr Popper's Penguins here,
but it was too cute not to include.

Finally, on the fiction front, I ran across a Madeleine L'Engle book I hadn't read yet, The Other Side of the Sun. It was one of those books that desperately cried out for discussion, and the Man unfortunately had to put up with my persistent need to bring up race relations in the post-Civil War South while we were trying to have romantic dinners together while flying sans kids in New England. If you happen to read it, send me an email letting me know what you thought. I'm still mulling it over even though it's been a week since I finished it.

But what about you? What are you reading? And if you're not reading, you now have multiple options to choose from, so what's stopping you? Hit up your local library (or fill up your suitcase with books the next time you have a fun trip) and then cocoon yourself in a blanket for a good read. Don't worry. The kids will fend for themselves just fine. And when they stop fending for themselves, you have read aloud options for them.

Still Hot

Those of you who know me, know I love Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are. So much so that this year I bought a pencil case of Max in his wolf suit with the iconic words "I'll eat you up!" written on it. (Incidentally, the Man, who is not a Sendak fan, asked me, "Who bought this weird pencil case? That kid has something coming out of his butt!")

This morning, I pulled out my pencil case to have my quiet time and found myself thinking about how Sendak's editors had tried (and failed) to get him to change the last line from "And it was still hot" to "And it was still warm." Max, the protagonist, has been sent to bed without any supper for misbehaving. He has gone on an adventure to the land of the wild things (sailing off through night and day and in and out of weeks and over a year) where he can be king. A wild rumpus progresses until he realizes that what he wants more than to be king is to be where someone loves him best of all. He returns home to find his dinner waiting for him...still hot. Not warm, and that is significant.

Sometimes, when we have been gone from the one who loves us best of all--pursuing our own power, setting our mark on the world, letting our desires devour those we think we love, attempting to exert control over the wild things about us--we realize that in our escape from discipline, we have left behind what really matters. And we want to return. But we are afraid of what is waiting for us.

I'm here to tell you that I think Sendak got it right (not all the time, some of his work is incredibly macabre, but in this instance). The one who loves you best of all has left dinner waiting for you--and it's not just warm, it's hot.

We think that we have forfeited that. That we will return to another empty room of discipline, or a meal that's been waiting for so long it has grown tepid or slimy. At best, we expect a bowl of warmed over soup and the chance to slip in unnoticed. But no, God has more for us than this. He loves us best of all, and his desire for us doesn't devour, it nourishes.

A hot meal indicates the presence of someone who cares. It is not a sandwich, left to be eaten alone. It is not a meal cooling to warmth that was left some time before by someone who isn't sure if or when we will be ready for it. It is a meal prepared specifically for us by one who knows our going out and our coming in and chooses to bless us with the very best out of his love for us.

Then again, maybe I'm just reading too much into this, and Max's meal was still hot because all of his adventures with the wild things happened only in his head. But I prefer the hope of the former interpretation. And I wondered if you would too.

Fiction Detox

It's been a fun few weeks of fiction detox. I mentioned to my librarian that I was taking a few weeks off of novel reading, and she looked at me with a blankly confused expression and asked, "Why in the world would you do that?" I gave her one of many different possible answers, the short version of which is that it's good for me. It helps me to read more diversely. It gives my brain space to listen to other narratives. And sometimes I learn about things I never would've considered learning about.

I think this has been my most successful run with non-fiction, to be honest. I'm six weeks in this time, and I'm not even dying to read the novel I picked up at the library. I'm excited about it, but I'm also excited to finish my current non-fiction read (Cork Dork by Bianca Bosker, all about sommeliers and totally weird...I'm loving it) and excited for the rest of the non-fiction works I have waiting on my To Be Read list.

A few of my favorites from the last few weeks (not including ones I've already written about):

The Next Right Thing by Emily Freeman. It's been so gentle and thought provoking. It has been a safe place for me to think and dream. The Man actually beat me to reading this, but I've still been a fantastic wife and texted him quotations off and on all week. He loves me. If you are working through a hard decision or just want to be a better decision maker in general, pick this one up.

Driving Hungry: A Memoir by Layne Mosler. A fascinating look into tango, taxis, and travel with food woven skillfully all the way through. I now want to go to Argentina even more and Germany has bumped its way up the list a little farther. Also, I was hungry the whole time I read this book.

Love, Loss, and What We Ate by Padma Lakshmi. Speaking of books that made me want to travel (India--one day!) and eat my weight in food (preferably samosas), Lakshmi's book was an interesting read with beautiful writing. I didn't know anything about her as a celebrity and have never watched Top Chef, but it was fascinating reading about another Third Culture Kid.

The Truth About Style by Stacy London. Another celebrity read, although this time I do have a few memories of watching What Not To Wear in college. I blew threw London's book, enjoying her personal stories as well as those of the women she helped style. More than clothes and body image, she talks about how we as women view ourselves. I especially enjoyed showing my boys the pictures of the outfits she picked out and asking if they wished I dressed more like that. They responded with resounding "NO"s. I too am less than thrilled about animal prints.

Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter. This has been my devotional for the last six weeks. I'm a little past halfway, and it has been so good. I haven't agreed with everything that every writer has said, but each essay has made me think, and all of them have made me pray. I'm grateful to have been reading it these last few weeks and am excited to read more of it in the coming weeks.

Travels with Charley: In Search of America by John Steinbeck. This book starts with a hurricane before Steinbeck sets out in a low budget version of an RV. I loved it. Steinbeck made me laugh and think and learn. It was highly accessible and a fascinating read. Not all of it was easy subject matter, but all of it was worthwhile.

Travels with Charley is sitting on the tray.
Trigger has once again stolen my place.

I did have a couple books that I started and put down before finishing. In both cases, I just got tired of feeling like I was having someone else's ideals shoved down my throat. I like reading authors who can share their differing opinions and ideas, but I don't love when authors assume that their opinions and ideas are the only ones of value...and go out of their way to mock those who disagree with them. Ain't nobody got time for that.

I do also have a few children's books suggestions, if you want to hang in there with me a little longer. First the chapter books:

Geronimo Stilton is not one of my suggestions,
but Bruiser is so terrifying that I deign to read them to the twins
even though they make me want to pull out my eyelashes.
The Geronimo Stilton books, but also sometimes the twins.

The Melendy Quartet by Elizabeth Enright. The kids and I lucked upon an audiobook version of The Saturdays a few weeks ago. We were immediately hooked. We're now starting the last book of the series, and I'm kind of sad that the end is in sight and that it took me thirty two years to discover the Melendy family. Turn of the century New York City and four precocious kids on the loose. Endless entertainment.

Igraine the Brave by Cornelia Funke. The Bigs took a break from Star Wars and Redwall this week to do some actual book report reading for school. I know, I know, I'm totally rocking this homeschool mom thing. Also, their book "reports" were terribly entertaining, as my version of book reports is more about engaging with the story and less about regurgitating the plot line. Littles read Igraine the Brave for his own pleasure reading a couple weeks ago and managed to talk Tiny into broadening his horizons and trying it out. Though Tiny was initially less than enthused, he couldn't stop giggling as he was writing his book report. I'd call that a win. I'm now hoping to con them into trying my favorite Funke novel, Inkheart.

Detectives in Togas by Henry Winterfield. I read this book when I was about Littles' age and got such a kick out of it. Little Roman boys running around in togas, solving crime and making mischief. What's not to love? Littles loved it too. I'm hoping to track down more of the series for him.

And then the picture books:

Just Like Rube Goldberg by Sarah Aronson. I'm always hoping to track down nonfiction picture books for the kids, and they really enjoyed reading about the man who helped inspire Mouse Trap. I was glad for the kids to see that rarely do we end up where we start out (Goldberg had a degree in engineering before he started drawing comics), but that our time is never wasted (his engineering degree helped inspire many of his silly inventions).

Where is Bear? by Jonathan Bentley. This one is a repeat library selection because it's just so darn cute. Also, there's a twist at the end that makes you feel all fuzzy inside. Kind of like an inside out teddy bear. I can't decide if that simile is creepy or not.

Too Tall Houses by Gianna Marino. Fan.Tas.Tic. Artwork. The facial expressions on the owl and rabbit are too much for me. Mostly because I can imagine what I would look like as an owl. Or a rabbit. Also, when Rabbit loses his mind and yells, "I want to be the tallest!" I had flashbacks to my childhood growing up with a middle sister who didn't love getting passed by her gigantic baby sister. (Sorry, Amanda, but I'm in desperate need of blog comments, and I thought if I called you out in public, you'd take a break from newlywed bliss and leave me a note).

Stars by Mary Lyn Ray and Marla Frazee. I loved this one because it was beautiful and hopeful and multicultural, and all those things make me happy. Also, it's about stars. In case the title didn't clue you in. Also, this face:

The Boy from the Dragon Palace by Margaret Read MacDonald, illustrations by Sachiko Yoshikawa. A hilarious take on being grateful, this book reminds us that our blessings don't always come from the most convenient (or hygienic) places. We all had a good laugh reading this book, but I went away with a little smile hiding in the corner of my mouth, remembering the many good gifts God has given...and many of them thanks to snot-nosed little kids.

Honorable mentions to Eric Carle's Animals Animals and Blue by Laura Vaccaro Seeger

So, what books are on your nightstand? Or being lugged home in library bags? Or being left all over your home by your many children?