This morning I wake to primordial screams coming from our sons' room. Upon entering, I discover Littles sitting in bed holding his brace in two hands--broken--again.
My frustration is tangible. Vibrant, if you will. Most definitely, loud and possibly a bit abrasive. Even after I realize that all he had done was take out a screw that I can very easily replace.
It's just not nice waking up to 1. full throated yelling, 2. the potential rearranging of an entire day to get the brace fixed, but worst of all 3. my own lack of grace and patience as a parent.
The screw replaced, the tears dried (Little's, not mine), two sopping wet diapers and a bed sheet changed, and I drag myself to the kitchen to get breakfast on the table. And that's when I hear myself:
Today is a bad day.
I've brought the day in to court and acted as judge and jury. I pound the gavel, and it is so.
Except that it isn't.
Because regardless of the lies with which I brand my life, real Truth reminds me that This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it! And I know that joy is in part an act of obedience. The coffee is still brewing in the pot and my mind is working double time to function past all the trips out of bed with Tiny throughout the night, so I scramble for truth and come up with the children's song:
This is the day, this is the day that the LORD has made, that the LORD has made...
I sing from obedience (but also a little bit of desperation) as I slice pumpkin bread and hand out sippy cups, and the croaking of my morning voice is joined by Littles, a smidge off key and off tempo, but so lovely. From habit, I continue:
Hari ini, hari ini harinya Tuhan, harinya Tuhan. Mari kita, mari kita bersukariya, bersukariya...
The words are just as true in any language. And that's when I hear it: my stubbornly monolingual son singing along. In Indonesian. And it's my first hint that today is absolutely not and never will be a bad day. It's my morning gift from the Lord. As I choose joy, He pours out more.
So I let the boys rampage in the kitchen, creating a joyous noise with the pot lids, as I drink my coffee and write and listen. Listen because every few minutes Littles sings, "Hari ini, hari ini..." Just that short phrase, but it's enough.
It's just not nice waking up to 1. full throated yelling, 2. the potential rearranging of an entire day to get the brace fixed, but worst of all 3. my own lack of grace and patience as a parent.
The screw replaced, the tears dried (Little's, not mine), two sopping wet diapers and a bed sheet changed, and I drag myself to the kitchen to get breakfast on the table. And that's when I hear myself:
Today is a bad day.
I've brought the day in to court and acted as judge and jury. I pound the gavel, and it is so.
Except that it isn't.
Because regardless of the lies with which I brand my life, real Truth reminds me that This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it! And I know that joy is in part an act of obedience. The coffee is still brewing in the pot and my mind is working double time to function past all the trips out of bed with Tiny throughout the night, so I scramble for truth and come up with the children's song:
This is the day, this is the day that the LORD has made, that the LORD has made...
I sing from obedience (but also a little bit of desperation) as I slice pumpkin bread and hand out sippy cups, and the croaking of my morning voice is joined by Littles, a smidge off key and off tempo, but so lovely. From habit, I continue:
Hari ini, hari ini harinya Tuhan, harinya Tuhan. Mari kita, mari kita bersukariya, bersukariya...
The words are just as true in any language. And that's when I hear it: my stubbornly monolingual son singing along. In Indonesian. And it's my first hint that today is absolutely not and never will be a bad day. It's my morning gift from the Lord. As I choose joy, He pours out more.
So I let the boys rampage in the kitchen, creating a joyous noise with the pot lids, as I drink my coffee and write and listen. Listen because every few minutes Littles sings, "Hari ini, hari ini..." Just that short phrase, but it's enough.
1 comment:
This is one of my favorite blogposts. Love you and those boys!
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