You know that saying about the straw that breaks the camel's back? I'm learning what that means.
Sunday morning I woke up with a sore throat and cat barf on the bedroom carpet and not enough sleep and the wrong Sunday School material prepared, and the list could go on indefinitely. And I asked the Man as we drove to church, "If I really believe in God's sovereignty, I mean, really believe that God is not just strong enough but also loving enough and at the same time thoroughly in control of my life, then how does that affect how I react? How does that dictate my response to the small stuff?"
And then my week continued on in that vein: unexpected doctor's appointments, cancelled plans, rearranged schedules, interpersonal friction, sleepless nights, family-wide sinus problems, broken fingernails (kidding!). And I kept thinking about that question: how does God's sovereignty change my reaction to the straw that's piling up on this camel's back?
Do I really believe, as Ann Voskamp says, that with God there are no emergencies?
At some point yesterday, there was that straw that finally broke the camel's back. That small stone on the mountain of tiny pebbles that caused the avalanche. And I put my head down on the kitchen table and cried.
Can I tell you something?
That was okay.
Because after I cried, I remembered: the God who loves me is in control; this is just small stuff; and there are no emergencies.
Today I systematically brushed the straw off the camel's back, piece by piece. It will pile up again soon, and I will brush it off again. But the straw is no less in God's control while it's on the camel's back then when it's off.