Friday, May 11, 2012

Super Mie and Out-of-Season Dads

When I was growing up, my dad liked to cook something he called "super Super-mie"; yes, he thought he was clever. He would use the--far-superior--Indonesian version of Ramen, add a lot of vegetables, and some sweet soy sauce and serve up some MSGed goodness for the whole family. It was the perfect complement to the heavy rainstorms that came during the monsoons. So tonight, feeling a bit nostalgic and missing my dad and the rainy season, I tossed some carrots, cabbage, onion, and peas into a pot with a couple packets of carefully hoarded Super-Mie and indulged myself. Being a good mother, I shared with Littles, so that he can start his bad eating habits at a young age. He was more interested in the chopsticks than the noodles.

During dinner I began thinking about my dad, which led me to thinking about dads in general, which led me to think about Little's dad specifically. Yes, I realize that Sunday is Mother's Day, not Father's Day. I don't blog on a Hallmark schedule.

Tonight, Little and I were sitting at his little table together since the Man had a late night meeting with the major. Tomorrow is the base open house, and duty calls. As Little Man and I slurped up noodles, I was subconsciously ticking down the number of days we have left with the Man before he leaves for training. Subconsciously, because each one is precious and I know it wasn't the Man's fault he missed dinner tonight. And I thought about the fact that someone had said to me recently that the deployment wouldn't be as bad for Little as it might be for another kid since he isn't used to his dad being home all the time anyway, what with the Man's busy work schedule. It isn't like he's used to seeing his dad at dinner every night or getting uninterrupted weekends and long holidays.

As I was sitting there thinking about this (and I'm only writing about this because today happens to be Military Spouse Appreciation Day, and I feel like being honest), I was just angry. Because even if my husband doesn't make it home for dinner every night, my child still asks every day, all day, if daddy will eat supper with him before bed. And the fact that someone thinks my child will get used to his daddy being gone, that he will forget or think it's normal... Well, I don't think I even need to say how I feel about that.

Let me just close with this. I love being a military wife because I am so immensely proud of my husband. He is an incredible officer who works hard to do right by his men and his country. Not only that, but he is a wonderful husband and father even on the days when he is exhausted from twelve hour days and constant work phone calls interrupting his sleep. I grew up with an amazing dad, the best dad three girls could have asked for, and so I have a high standard to hold the Man to, and most days, he exceeds it. On the many nights ahead of us when Little asks if daddy will be home for dinner and I have to tell him no, I'm still just grateful that he has a dad who is worth missing.


  1. Amen Marian!! thanks for your insight into your life and you do have a wonderful husband and children and YOU are a wonderful MOM!!!! God has you in this place for a reason and I appreciate your honesty in sharing something very sensitive to a lot of people. Having husbands/dad gone is never easy but am thankful that you have a husband to be proud of and I know as Alex grows up he will continue to be proud of the dad God gave him!! Love and blessings to you!!

  2. a hopeless Australianism, but it sums it up best: 'onya mate.'
    To you and your husband.
    ps - man I miss Supermie. MSG messes with my heart now, but I could so go a bowl right now!

  3. This makes me so happy to know you and Josh. You are both incredible people.