Monday, September 17, 2012

A Two-Part Introspective Entitled: Too Old To Wear Pigtails and the Temptation of Foggy

Part One

I have never been that girl, the one that looks put together even when they aren't. Admittedly, I had a few really low years (say, 14 to 18) when I didn't even look like a girl, but that's a subject for another post. When I started dating the Man, I began to try. Mostly because, wow, is he good looking! but also because he doesn't dress like a complete bum, and I felt like I had to pull myself up to his level so that people didn't wonder why in the world he was dating a slob like me. Then when we moved on base, I felt like I needed to try even harder (because I am an extension of The Captain's image, of course). Last week I even, finally, gave away some of my prized and funkier items that at this dual-childed stage in my life, I should never wear again. Goodbye, belt with the cute little whales on it. Goodbye, crazy scarf with the flourescent accents. I am, however, still not matching my earrings. Don't judge. Matching is hard. The point is, though, that I'm making improvements--focus on that.

Yet somehow I keep finding myself in positions like I did this morning, where I show up at Little Man's "school" wearing a pair of holey moccasins, my ripped and worn U of M hoodie, and a billie on my head. Not to mention that it wasn't until half way there that I realized I hadn't brushed my teeth this morning. Also, as a side note, skinny jeans are really uncomfortable when you haven't shaved in 5 days. All the other moms looked cute. Even the ones wearing their workout clothes. And the ones without make up. I will admit that I had a completely legitimate reason for looking like something the dog dragged in--I was up all night with Teething Tiny--but really, the truth is, there was no excuse for the pigtails. Somebody put together an Intervention. I need help.

This was a mistake.

Part Two

It is a beautiful foggy morning outside, and while I was imagining getting in an accident (and, incidentally, not having the correct insurance papers on me) the whole time I was driving Little Man to "school", I am enjoying every minute of it. Fog reminds me of Pangalengan, the tea plantation my family visited when I was growing up. It was up in the mountains so the weather was cooler and it wasn't unusual to wake up to mist coating the tea bushes. We would spend our days hiking through the tea fields, soaking in the hot springs, and reading good books while drinking hot cocoa (this was before I started my coffee obsession). Needless to say, the weather today is making me want to regress to days of old, forget my yucky kitchen floor and the piles of dog hair that are accumulating in the corners of each room, and just curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee and some Madeleine L'Engle. But I will prevail. The floors will be mopped, the bathrooms wiped down, and maybe I will even order a new computer cord so that I can print off the new insurance papers. Resist the lure of the fog!


  1. Forget Avalon, the mists of Pangalengan are my best mythic memory too. And as bathtubs don't exist in the Netherlands, while long tiring days do, I go to the hotsprings in my mind pretty often.

  2. I love your pigtails and your billie - you are naturally "cute" and therefore, need no accesories, make up, etc. to make that happen.....don't ever stop being yourself - she's the one Josh fell in love with - smart man that he is!

  3. Girl, I love reading your blog. Especially during my planning periods when I should be working. And especially because I spilled a big mug of PG Tips all over my papers while reading your blog because it made me happy or maybe just because I am way too tired these days! Much love!