Tuesday, October 8, 2013

beauty{full}: rest

I want to start by saying thank you for all your prayers--not just in regard to today's test (everything went great: the doctor's are still estimating a mid-December arrival for the twins), but also in regard to the boys' sleep. We are seeing improvement, however small. It is imperfect progress but I will take that. So thank you.

On that note, I've been sitting at the computer for an hour trying to figure out what I wanted to write tonight. It's just been one of those days that has gotten away from me. I spent the evening enjoying one last get together with my longest friend here and her family before they move on to the east coast. It was such a nice way to end out our two years of friendship--a good meal, laughter as our boys rampaged, and coffee and cookies to finish things off. Unfortunately, as I've been sitting here trying to process and focus, the clock has been ticking on relentlessly and tomorrow is an early morning and a long day of driving. And I'm still not sure what I'm feeding the kids for their road trip breakfast. Air with a side of nothing?

So I'm sitting here listening to myself breathing and mentally berating myself for not getting my head in the game, whether that means attempting to write out something meaningful/semi-coherent or getting up and making a quick batch of muffins (that will not turn out inexplicably salty like this morning's batch did), and may I just say: that's okay. Clarification that the muffins were NOT okay, but that it IS okay to not always accomplish everything I think I have to.

It's okay to have an afternoon where you stay in bed for an hour or so and let your kids play trains on the floor of your bedroom. It's okay to have friends over and allow them to set the table for you and even wash the dishes. It's okay to not have everything taken care of at all times. Might I say, it is perhaps even a beautiful thing.

God has made each of us unique, and with our one-of-a-kind characters, He has also given us our own personal limitations (for the long or short term). We can kick against the goads or we can accept who we are and that He is daily bringing us closer to who He is without us killing ourselves to get there. So tonight, this is all I'm writing. And I'm going to go put on a pair of shorts and one of the Man's too big t-shirts (too big for him, no longer too big for me) and maybe even leave some dirty coffee mugs in the sink and not worry so much about breakfast for the boys and just rest--because I'm tired and there's a foot long baby boy shoved up underneath my rib cage and tomorrow comes early, and God knows that.

I will also make an extensive list of everything I need to do tomorrow morning before we leave because I'm like that too, and again, God knows that. Because he made me a planner and a list maker just as much as he handed me this specific set of circumstances that right now leave me needing to put up my feet for a little while, drink a cold glass of water, and be still.

It is beautiful that He knows me and my circumstances. And when I remember that He also made me the way I am--and actually likes me that way--that's beautiful too.

{If you're looking for the rest of this series, all the links can be found here. Thank you so much for joining with me this month.}


  1. Good reminder! And I'm thankful you are learning to lie down on the bed and let the boys play trains in the floor beside you. . . that's very smart AND beautiful. And I love you and those boys and your Man and can hardly wait to see the twins.

  2. 'And when I remember that He also made me the way I am - and actually likes me that way...'!
    I need to sit awhile with that one today. Thanks for bringing such honesty and grace to these posts. (and I will be continuing to pray for sleep and rest for you and your little ones)