Sunday, October 20, 2013

beauty{full}: uncooperative life

I want to believe there's beauty here... I want to believe there's meaning here...
"Need You Now (How Many Times)" by Plumb

This morning was like something out of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It was my fault how it started because I had stayed up too late, entirely of my own accord, but then it went downhill from there. I had two sets of sheets to throw in the wash when Sunday is supposed to be my no laundry day (but pee and poop wait for no woman), the cat barfed on top of the fridge, the newly painted bookshelf stuck to the drop cloth, my deodorant exploded all over the bathroom floor, my coffee was cold and I had no time to reheat it, Tiny decided to fill up his diaper when we were already late for Sunday School, and to top it off, the dog tracked mud all over the house and yes, all over my bed--more laundry! 

In the middle of all this, the Little Man found me crying hysterically in the living room (after first yelling hysterically at Trigger), and when he asked me what was wrong and I replied that Mommy was having a bad day (because I am that annoying mom that talks about myself in the third person--I've tried to break the habit--sadly I have been unsuccessful), he didn't even give me a hug, he just went back to his legos. Seriously!? I know you're three, but I don't even get a hug?

Anyway, Tiny cried at Sunday School drop off and Children's Church drop off, this after lovingly ramming Gordon's metal coal car into the side of my face midway through the opening prayer (ow. ow. ow.). I couldn't concentrate on anything but the children's bulletin Word Find during church (and still had four words left to find at the end of the sermon, which, let me tell you, was a real blow). Tiny ended church with a low grade fever (probably from teething, but really?). I need to go on?

I promise--I promise--that I was doing my best to get out of my funk. But every time I made any form of headway, something else happened! And the only thing I could think of was:

How is cat barf beautiful?
How are peed on sheets beautiful?
How are muddy paw prints beautiful?

And sometimes it's enough to make you feel crazy when all the little things seem to be going wrong but all you can think of are theoretical questions that don't de-mud your carpet or wash your laundry or get your kids in the car on time. And guys: that's okay.

Tomorrow is a new day. There are times when life doesn't just seem messy, it seems ugly and drab and entirely uncooperative. We keep going. Tomorrow is always a chance to start again, so we take a deep breath and just--keep--going, and sometimes...sometimes...we play this song on repeat and try to inundate our minds with truth until we finally get through.

{If you're looking for the rest of this series, all the links can be found here. Thank you so much for joining with me this month.}