Sunday, October 5, 2014

Day Five: Questions by Blondes (and Other People)

Every transition--whether it's a new town or a new move or a new friendship--comes with questions. And as my husband likes to say, "There are no stupid questions. Only stupid people." So, let me show my blonde side and share a few questions I've had concerning this latest transition of ours.

First off, what are these? Someone tell me. The kids and I are dying to know.

Seriously: what is this fruit?

Second, when we were exploring the house for the first time, I asked the Man if that random button in the garage was for opening the garage door. He answered by informing me that he was going to be writing a list of things to go over with Third Culture Kids before dropping them in the States, including what a garage door opener looks like. Then he laughed for a really long time.

(Incidentally, when I first moved to the States to start college, I had to ask my roommate how to use a photocopier. She was nice and didn't make too much fun of me.)

Third, questions like "Where is the nearest E.R.?" should be asked before your youngest child wakes up at midnight with a 106 degree fever. Follow up questions include, "What is wrong with my child?", "What pharmacy takes my insurance?", and "Why do hospitals not include complimentary coffee because I've been up an obscenely long time at this point and WHERE IS THE CAFFEINE?" These are all acceptable questions to pose and it is okay to wait until you are in the moment for them. But don't wait about the E.R. question. Take my word for it.

Initially Bruiser enjoyed the one-on-one time with me
Then he realized one-on-one time includes shots.
And catheters.

Fourth, how do I get this off my kitchen counter? or camouflage it so that you can't tell it's there? Aside from awkwardly leaving a cutting board or bowl directly over it… Inquiring minds (mine) want to know.

Grey sharpie? Is there such a thing as grey sharpie?

Anyway, the point of this extremely scatter-brained post is that when we're stretching ourselves through transition, it's necessary to ask questions. Including, "What was your name again?" And the trick is to ask all of them as promptly as possible so that after you've been settled for months you don't embarrass yourself by asking things you should know at that point.

Speaking of, what was your name again?

In closing, if you struggle with the idea of making yourself vulnerable by asking potentially dumb questions, Google is your friend. It does a great job finding hospitals at midnight when you don't want to call the only person in town whose phone number you have and potentially jeopardize that friendship.

That was a confusing sentence to close on. But in my defense: all night up with Bruiser. all day at the hospital. no coffee. no. coffee. no… coffee...

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{If you think of it, would you pray for Bruiser with us? He needs rest as he goes through this round of antibiotics, and sleeping is not his forte.}


  1. Prayers for you AND sweet Bruiser. I hope all is well soon, and personally, I think any mom or immediate family member of a sick baby should have the option of an IV with coffee ;-)

  2. Question--DO blondes have more fun? I'm pretty sure that fruit is a kumquat. Because kumquats are fruit and no one knows what they are and that thing is a fruit and no one knows what it is, so--Logic.